Parenting is often seen as a sacred duty, and in this journey, we tend to get lost in the idea of perfection—creating a flawless environment, raising children who excel in everything, and ensuring they acquire name, fame, and wealth. But in striving for these ideals, we often forget the most fundamental aspect: What are we truly giving to our children?
In the rush to shape their future, we unknowingly impose our desires and ambitions upon them, dreaming of fulfilling through them what we couldn't for ourselves. It’s a human tendency, but in doing so, we overlook their individuality—their unique karmic journey. Children arrive with their own destiny, their own path to walk. Our role is not to mold them into versions of ourselves, but to provide an environment that allows them to evolve and grow as they are meant to.
Children are deeply sensitive to the energy of their surroundings. They absorb it, unknowingly shaping their beliefs, emotions, and actions based on what they witness and feel. It is shortsighted to raise them purely based on our own experiences. For instance, if we grew up facing emotional or financial scarcity, we may unintentionally pass this lack on to them. Alternatively, in overcompensation, we flood them with money and comfort, shielding them from feeling any lack at all. Similarly, if we were bullied or humiliated in our childhood, we might protect our children excessively, preventing them from ever facing challenges. But the world is vast and unpredictable, and they cannot remain sheltered forever.
By trying to control every experience for them, we prevent them from experiencing both the good and the bad, which are necessary for their growth. Sometimes, in the harshest moments, they learn the most, develop resilience, and become capable of standing tall on their own. Our fears, desires, and protectiveness should not dictate our journey. Instead, we must rise above our perceptions and focus on what is truly best for them—not what feels comfortable for us.
One common parenting mistake is when partners criticize each other in front of the children. Children are keen observers and quickly learn to manipulate situations to their advantage, using these conflicts to justify their actions. Unknowingly, we fuel their misguided behavior by offering them fragmented views of the world. Rather than teaching them balance, we impose our perceptions, and they mirror them.
In my view, conscious parenting begins with working on oneself. Our children do not merely learn from our words, but from our energy—the unspoken presence we bring into their lives. The more aware we are of our own limitations, emotions, and triggers, the more conscious the environment we create for them. It is not about perfection, but about being mindful of the energies we transmit, providing them with a balanced ecosystem of love, discipline, and freedom.
Good and bad, joy and struggle, love and challenge—they all play their part in shaping a complete human being. When we, as parents, rise above our own expectations and fears, we allow our children to thrive in the fullness of life. Conscious parenting, then, is not about control but about surrender—trusting in their journey, while nurturing them with love, awareness, and presence.
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